Bay Area Sports Blog

Today the fledgling United Football League made a splash at AT&T Park: Not two, not three, but FOUR washed-up NFL coaches will head the four franchises in San Francisco, Vegas, New York and Orlando when the league opens play later this year. Denny Green is the lucky man to head the San Francisco franchise, which will play by the shores of McCovey Cove. The team is as yet unnamed but — web 2.0 alert! — you can enter your ideas here. Don’t be surprised if the team ends up being named “Singletary’s Knickers” because we spammed that site hard-core.

Anyway, the announcement got us thinking about the good old days of the XFL, the USFL and every other wonderful football league that has risen up from the grass only to be stomped down again by the mighty NFL. We’re not necessarily predicting doom for the UFL; They seem to want to be a minor league NFL more than anything, and that could work. But time and time again, fans have rejected new leagues and proven they want their football fed to them by Manning, Michaels and Madden.

So, with further hulabaloo, here’s our homage to defuncy leagues and teams with Bay Area ties.

San Jose Apaches, Continental Football League

The Apaches existed for only one year, 1967, but they took the name of another semipro team that played in the Pacific Football League in the years prior. Their uniforms were silver and black hand-me-downs from the Oakland Raiders. Their coach came from the Raiders, too: Former Oakland assistant Bill Walsh was the GM and coach of the Apaches. Walsh had been contemplating leaving football, but decided to coach the Apaches because he could also teach and do graduate work at San Jose State. Walsh took charge of his team with the firm hand 49ers fans would come to love: He cut 25 of the 35 players who went through training camp, and hired NFL rejects to fill the spots. The Apaches finished 8-2 and second in the Western Conference, but never drew more than 4,500 to Buck Shaw Stadium. Walsh estimated the team lost $60,000, and the Apaches disbanded the following year.

San Francisco Demons, XFL

The Demons were the darlings of the XFL: Sports Illustrated cover boys, top-drawing team in the league, cinderellas of the playoffs. But alas, somehow all the stripper-cheerleaders and weird rules didn’t lead to ratings, and what could have been the team of the 2000s folded along with the rest of the XFL. The Demons led the league by averaging 35,000 fans per game, and a lot of those fans sat in the “Hell Hole” behind one of the end zones at then-Pac Bell Park. Those in the Hell Hole got a good view of the best thing in the XFL: Before every game, two players would race 15 yards and the one who won the ball won the “coin toss.” Another fun fact: In this terrible economy, you’ll be happy to know the XFL still has openings.

San Francisco Tsunami, Women’s American Football League

There have been at least 12 different women’s football leagues in the U.S. in this decade, and the Tsunami played in one of the first, the WAFL. They practiced in public parks around the Bay Area and none of the players earned salaries, only shares of the profits. Their main rival, the Oakland Banshees, still survive. The Banshees play in the Independent Women’s Football League and play their home games at Chabot College in Hayward. You can get a sweet Banshees sleeveless tee if you want it.

Oakland Invaders, USFL

The Invaders moved into Oakland in 1982 after Al Davis took the Raiders to Los Angeles, and yes, the name was a direct attempt to convert Raiders fans. Oh, what, it sounds like Raiders? Sign me up! The Invaders had the priviledge of playing in the final USFL game ever, the 1985 championship game. The Invaders were driving for the winning score when a fight led to a personal foul on running back Tom Newton, and Oakland couldn’t get in the end zone. The next year, the USFL sued the NFL and won … $3.76.

Bonus: There’s a Lingerie Football League team planned in San Jose for the 2010-2011 season. How will Denny Green compete with women in lingerie? Time will tell.

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By Peter on Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 at 1:36 pm.