Bay Area Sports Blog

Here’s Dennis Green, coach of the to-be-named San Francisco UFL franchise, addressing UFL hopefuls at a workout in Orlando that took place before last week’s UFL draft.

“I’m excited to be in the United Football League. I really am. I’ve coached a lot of years at a lot of different levels, but I think it’s all really about opportunity. The reason you guys are here, the reason your agents sent you here, the reason your agents thought it was a good idea, is because it’s an opportunity to get a new beginning for yourselves. It’s a chance to get allocated to a United Football League team, basically four teams, it’s what you’re looking to do.”

Green sounded genuinely excited to be there, and, bless his heart, maybe he was. But maybe he wasn’t. From the people who brought you the Mom Translator, here’s Green’s pep talk through the Former NFL Coach Translator.

“I’m excited to check out Disney World tomorrow. I’ve heard Epcot Center is awesome. I was 10-45 in five years as head coach at Northwestern, and frankly, the guys on those teams were more talented than some of you. The reason you guys are here is that the NFL didn’t want you. The reason your agents sent you here, the reason your agents thought it was a better idea than sitting on your asses waiting for a second-rate indoor football league to bring you in for a workout is the Arena League is taking a year off. It’s a chance to get allocated to a United Football League team. Speaking of, does my team have a name yet? Anyway, get out there and show me that you’re not who I thought you were.”

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By Scott on Saturday, June 20th, 2009 at 1:04 pm.