5 New Jobs for Raiders QB JaMarcus Russell
Tom Cable has insisted that JaMarcus Russell will remain his quaterback and that the Raiders’ problems run deeper than the former No. 1 pick under center. Still, it’s becoming more and more obvious that, unless McDonald’s starts giving out Magic QB Dust in their Happy Meals, Russell will soon be out of a job. Russell offered some compelling reasons why he should be named the Raiders head coach when Cable is terminated or led away in a police car, but he doesn’t have the experience of someone like, say, Art Shell. (Third time’s the charm?)
Ever the proactive and considerate bloggers, we’ve taken the liberty to identify five new areas of work for Russell when his days as the starting quarterback in Oakland are over.
Poker Player
You know it, we know it, and even the poker experts know it: JaMarcus Russell isn’t cut out to be an NFL quarterback. While it’s well established that you should never, ever, ever, bet on Russell, would you have the cajones to call his pre-flop raise as he stares calmly at you you with those steely, emotionless eyes? Wethinks not. Russell’s high school coach always told him to stay on an even keel so that “nobody will ever read you, they will never know what you’re thinking about, how high you are, how low you are.” Or if you’re holding pocket rockets. You’ll have about as much luck reading Russell’s poker face as he does reading defenses.
or 
or
By Scott on Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 at 10:00 am.
Tags: Oakland Raiders