Joe Montana’s house, and other 49ers experiences worth $49 million
Joe Montana’s Calistoga estate, which he calls Villa Montana, is up for sale for the completely coincidental sum of $49 million. Even in Sonoma County, where vintners and their ilk smoke $500 bills while sipping melted gold from their snifters, the sale would be a record by more than $30 million.
Which doesn’t mean we’re not calling our bankers in the Caymans to see if we can raise the scratch necessary to buy. It’s not a matter of whether we have the money, but more about whether we think Villa Montana is worth it. We’ve had some other offers. Here are some things we’re considering buying instead:
A 49-hour hot tub session with 49 of the 49ers cheerleaders from the last 49 games. You say 49 hours might be too much, and we might die. Worth it.
Four tickets on the 49-yard-line, plus two parking passes and $100 worth of food and drinks, for every home game for the next 9,141 seasons. Which is roughly what you could actually afford, assuming no price increases. So 8,500 seasons if we’re being conservative.
Forty-nine Vernon Davis paintings, and 49 minutes with him. We appreciate good art, and we want the time to explain how dumb it is to provoke the Bears defense with comments like “I think we can destroy their front,” which is what he said today. Ouch, Vernon.
Forty-nine of Jerry Rice’s 208 touchdown balls, plus he has to be our strength and conditioning coach for the next 49 years. We’ll be totally ripped for our hot tub session with the cheerleaders.
Tom Brady’s services for the next five seasons. OK, at $10 million per season, we can’t quite afford five seasons, but we’ll make up the difference in revenue from all the Super Bowl appearances.
or 
or
By Peter on Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 7:15 pm.
Tags: San Francisco 49ers