Bay Area Sports Blog

The JaMarcus Russell weight watch 2010 is reaching frenzied heights thanks again to CSN. Kate Longworth tracked down JaMarcus yesterday and interviewed him in his car, thus furthering the debate over whether he is, actually, still in shape.

You might say Longworth and Greg Papa got into too much analysis about the weight of JaMarcus’ face, since that was his only body part showing during the interview. But we think they didn’t analyze enough. After all, Dr. Stephen Gullo (“the weight-loss guru of Wall Street,” who knew traders were so fat?) says the face is the first indicator of fatness.

If you’ve ever looked closely at a person who has put on a significant amount of weight or has binged on carbohydrates, his face often looks puffy and distended. This is what some of us who work in the field of weight management call the ‘carb face.’

Does JaMarcus still have his carb face, and thus, his carb body? We’ll analyze the geometric angles of his 2010 face vs. his 2009 face and get back to you on the next edition of JaMarcus Russell Weight Watch 2010.

Here’s the video:

JaMarcus Russell is a lot like Pigpen from Peanuts. Everywhere he goes there are little clouds of dirt and general nastiness following. Like today. When Russell didn’t show for the first day of voluntary workouts, the Raiders-sphere assumed the dirt was rising up again. “This guy is human garbage” wrote Silver and Black Pride.

But luckily Hall of Famer Willie Brown has found our man: Brown said on Chronicle Live that JaMarcus was closing on a house in Alabama. As long as he’s not in Vegas or battling lethargy, that’s good enough for us, and we can call off the blog dogs for now. The fun begins around the 4:10 mark.

Also, Brown says JaMarcus is straight etched coming into the season. He’s been working out and working with a nutritionist. “The weight thing, he’ll get it done, he’ll get it done,” Brown said.

A new house, a new set of abs, a new JaMarcus in 2010? We shall see.

Ghirardelli recently launched its Million Moments of Timeless Pleasure promotion where you can share when and where you most enjoy eating their chocolates and be automatically entered to win a trip for two to one of four famous world squares. Swell! We like to enjoy our chocolates while watching NBC’s Raj Mathai report that Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell is being treated for lethargy addiction. Go ahead and rip open one of Ghirardelli’s delicious squares and experience this sensation yourself:

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Today the Raiders cut longtime running back Justin Fargas. They had to do it soon to save on a $1.7 million roster bonus owed to Fargas if he stuck around.

That’s all well and good, but did they have to give him an award first? In what Just Blog Baby called the “obligatory element of the bizarre,” the Raiders recently announced Fargas as a recipient of the Commitment to Excellence award. Fargas has won the leadership award three years in a row. The banquet is a week from today:

On Saturday, March 13, the Steering Committee for the Oakland Raiders Booster Clubs will host a black tie dinner honoring Raiders running back Justin Fargas and tight end Zach Miller with the Commitment to Excellence Award. The 8th-annual award dinner be held at the Oakland Airport Hilton. Proceeds from the event will go to the recipients’ designated charities.

Can Fargas choose himself as his designated charity? He might need it.

In case you happened to miss the ball drop (that’s not a Darrius Heyward-Bey joke) on Free Agency 2010, the signing period began at midnight EST. Adam Schefter wet himself, Julius Peppers popped some bubbly, and Al Davis wondered aloud whether Terrell Owens might be the player the Raiders need to compete for an AFC West title. Get your popcorn ready, baby!

Davis is likely to make a few ridiculous moves between now and training camp, even if signing T.O. likely won’t be one of them. After all, he has no GM to call the shots, or at the very least keep his 40-time fetish in check. This angers Raiders fan Jared Staszewski, who made headlines last year when he raised money to erect the billboard pictured above along I-880.

Well according to the Examiner, Staszewski’s Message to Al is about to get louder.

My new slogan is ‘I don’t want to do what we are about to do,’ but if we don’t get any acknowledgment or any improvements or anything of that nature, we’re going to take it up a couple notches.

Staszekwi says he’s launching a new fundraising campaign that could result in up to 100 billboards popping up in the East Bay, all with the same message: Hire a general manager. It’s a solid message, sure, but he might want to consider mixing it up a bit for the sake of everyone who has to sit in traffic on a a daily basis. A few suggestions:

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Randy Hanson might have gone back to work for the Raiders, but he still wants to screw them. That’s the general idea behind the civil suit filed today by Hanson against Tom Cable and the Raiders.

Did Cable punch Hanson? Did the big man tell the little man he wanted to kill him? If the suit ends up in court, we could find the answers we’ve been longing for:

During the criminal investigation conducted by the Napa authorities into the Aug. 26 incident, which Hanson claims left him with a broken jaw, Cable maintained a public silence with both the public and law enforcement other than maintaining the system would bring a just end result.

Cable wasn’t obligated to talk with police. A civil suit demanding a jury trial which alleges the infliction of assault, battery and intentional influction of emotional distress would require Cable to speak in his own defense.

Trial of the century? If the chair around Randy Hanson’s head does not fit, you must acquit!

Bloggers everywhere had little mistakes in their pants today when the Oakland Raiders announced they would run a “Raidercruise” from Los Angeles to the Mexican Riviera in May. Kissing Suzy Kolber just threw up their hands and spewed every joke imaginable. “First mate leaves cruise before ship is out of port to take job at Cal.” Ouch. That one hits close to the button.

After revealing the amazing Raiders jet, it’s clear Al Davis is trying to conquer land, sea and air before abdicating his throne. No other sports team has attempted a full transportation takeover like this. Straight from Alameda, here are some of Al’s future plans to take your nickels and dimes:

Raiders hot-air balloon

Full of conjecture, double-speak and noncommittal statements about Tom Cable’s status

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Just Blog Baby asks if this song by LA punk band Killroy is better than the Raider Nay-shun song. Is that really a question? This is clearly better. Ice Cube could never come up with a verse this sick:

San Diego (next word ?) we own that town
Kansas City Chiefs Midwestern trash
Mile High Denver is a toilet bowl
We hate every team in the NFL

And we love every Raiders song. Time to update the carats. Enjoy:

The Raiders made Sebastian Janikowski a very rich man earlier this week, potentially raising the bar (figuratively, Shayne Graham, don’t worry) for kickers on the free agent market. While some ridiculed the move, Ray Ratto and others defended Al Davis for a change. By breaking the bank for Shane Lechler and now Janikowski, the Raiders have the makings of a dominant Punt, Pass, and Kick team for years to come. Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

It’s hard to ridicule the Raiders brass for this one. While Janikowski has endured some bumps along the way, he has become one of the league’s best kickers, all the while managing the expectations that come with being a first-round draft pick.

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Of all the Super Bowl liveblogs in all the blogiverse, the best was penned by our man Lowell Cohn. Lowell followed all the action and of course, the commercials. “Aside from the overload of commercials there’s way too much beer stuff. You watch this broadcast and you think beer is the meaning of life. Is it?” But of course it is Lowell!

He liked the violin-playing beaver and Betty White, and no pants. Under the “Ads I liked” section: “Those two ads with people walking around in their underpants, not that I actually understood them.”

Lowell wasn’t the only Bay-to-Bowl connection. Others included…

• In Antioch, a man died at a party following a disruption over a Super Bowl bet. Police say no foul play is involved, but the incident did start because one partygoer retracted a bet he had made. The cops are having trouble nailing down details because all the witnesses were intoxicated — so, basically, it was just like every Super Bowl party in America.
• Jerry Rice attended the coin toss but Emmitt Smith was selected to actually toss the coin. Both competed for best hand signal flashed to America.
• Former Cal player Scott Fujita wrote a Super blog for the New Orleans Times-Picayune and revealed he was axed by Nike for taping over the swooshes on his shoes.
• Joe Montana was featured in a widely panned Skechers ad. But only his voice. Which made us wonder if they didn’t want to pay the extra money to get him actually into the commercial. Because when you’re spending $35 million on a commercial, you’re trying to cut costs.

That was about it. Until next year, when the 49ers and Raiders meet in the Super Bowl. Then we’ll have a little more to write about.

Did we say next year? We meant 2076.