Chicago squeezed the life out of San Jose in Game 4 just like they did throughout the series. Hate carats tell the story:

Vince Vaughn and Kevin James. Kissing cousins.

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Dustin Byfuglien, four goals in four games, three game-winners. We rue the day we crafted that rebus.

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The Chicago Blackhawks. They now have everything we wanted. Jerks.

The Chicago Blackhawks really, really love hotels. After spending a lot of time in those establishments over the last few weeks and consequently winning some key games, they’re attempting to replicate the experience before Game 3 of the Western Conference finals on Friday.

After their morning skate tomorrow, they’ll check in to a hotel to nap before taking a bus to the United Center to play the San Jose Sharks. From the Chicago Tribune:

“Some of the guys probably get away from their home lives and just shut the door and get away from the kids,” winger Adam Burish said. “Some guys get excited, they get to play their video games again. If it makes us play like we’re on the road, perfect, I’m all for it.”

They think it will cut down on distractions, but what about the minibar? What about the hair dryer? You know Patrick Kane needs to fluff that mullet.

Meanwhile, the Sharks are hoping some encouraging words from a former Chicago great, Mike Singletary, will propel them past the napping Blackhawks. Singletary said he and Todd McLellan have been in contact and that he’s on board with the Sharks and this whole “hockey” business.

My son, my youngest son loves hockey. I don’t fully understand the game, but he loves hockey.

Wow, Singletary knows how to bring the hellfire. GET PUMPED! GO SHARKS!

Why yes, we did need a gimmick to tie together several different events in Bay Area sports tonight. And that gimmick is…

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Percent chance the Washington Wizards had to win the top pick in the NBA Draft lottery*. But they did, and the second big blow was the 76ers moving up, pushing Golden State from fourth to sixth. So there’s now a 90 percent chance the Warriors will draft a no-name or trade the pick.

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Innings it took for the San Francisco Giants to finally beat the San Diego Padres. The baseball gods thought about extending this one to 120 innings but decided the hearts of Giants fans probably couldn’t take it.

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In a Game 1 loss that brings up haunting memories of … other Game 1 losses in the past, the San Jose Sharks fell 2-1 to the Chicago Blackhawks today. It was, literally, a tough loss, as the Blackhawks pushed the Sharks all over the ice.

If you watched the game on NBC you got insight, repeatedly, into the Sharks’ past playoff stumblings, the star power of Patrick Kane and Joe Thornton, and the Chicago cycle. But Pierre McGuire did notice one thing at the end of the game that blew our minds, and was probably the sole and only reason for the Sharks’ loss. Ray Ratto noticed it too:

One fascinating note at the end. Dave Bolland tripped Devin Setoguchi with 55.1 seconds left, but Kris Versteeg went to the box, allowing Bolland, a better penalty killer, to finish the game on the ice. Nobody noticed. Hmmm.

How did this happen? On the replay it was clear Bolland tripped Setoguchi. If one guy had been on the ice instead of the other, clearly Joe Thornton would have connected on that last shot that he whiffed. The Sharks probably would have scored five times in the last minute.

Actually, we’re just in denial that the Sharks lost AND Lacey Wilson didn’t win Miss USA. What a crappy day to be Doug Wilson. Every other day? Pretty good.

Occasionally we’ll post rebuses: word puzzles based on images. Put the images together and you’ve got a name.

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The Sharks have broken their playoff curse and now they’re hoping their springtime success translates to the larger Sharks family. Enter Lacey Wilson, the daughter of GM Doug Wilson. She was named Miss Massachusetts and will compete in the Miss USA pageant in Las Vegas on Sunday.

Yes, Sharks fans, you’ll have to muster your courage and watch women walking around in bikinis this weekend. SUCKS.

Lacey Wilson went to USC but now lives in Boston full time. According to the Miss Massachusetts site, she “had the privilege to work for such companies as: E! News, E! Live Events, Silver Spoon Entertainment Marketing, and Silicon Valley Sports & Entertainment.” Hmmm, wonder how she got that last gig. Thanks pops.

The image above comes from a controversial photo shoot where all the Miss USA contestants posed in lingerie. This after Kyle Boller girlfriend Carrie Prejean almost lost her Miss California crown because of racy photos. Shockingly, Donald Trump defended this year’s official photos. “These pictures are pretty wild. But the girls are incredible.” Well that makes the misogyny OK!

We have no idea what Japanese singer/songwriter Angela Aki has to do with the San Jose Sharks, but this video pretty much nails the Sharks over the last 13 calendar months. Last year: Suck. This year: REDEMPTION. And pianos.

The Sharks finished off the Red Wings in Game 5 last night, proving that the 7-1 Game 4 loss was more mirage, less trend. The Sharks will be rooting for the Vancouver Canucks to extend their series with the Chicago Blackhawks tonight so they can face another tired opponent.

By the way, in case you’re wondering: The title of the song, “Tegami,” apparently means “letter” in Japanese. Hey, Red Wings, we’ve got a letter for you: Goodbye, have fun at summer camp, please write. See you next year? Bring cookies. Signed, the San Jose Sharks.

Please take the image above as your preview for tonight’s Sharks AND Giants games. Via the greatest blog ever and itsjustgoldie.

But let’s talk about the A’s. Who doesn’t like talking about the A’s? Well, most of the Bay Area, judging from their attendance.

Still, this is something to talk about: Jack Cust is commuting every night from Sacramento to San Francisco with the hopes of living in the Bay Area again soon. It just might happen. After Billy Beane moved golden boy Eric Chavez to DH and kicked Cust to the Sacramento River Cats curb, Chavez has not been exactly a power player in the A’s lineup. As the Drumbeat notes, he’s hitting .220 with zero homers and last night the Rangers intentionally walked Kevin Kouzmanoff to get to Chavez.

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So wait, the Sharks are 3-0 up on the Detroit Red Wings? And Joe Thornton was a big reason why? And Patrick Marleau had the game winner? In Detroit? Star Wars Day miracles do come true! And for some reason that won’t be the last movie reference here on Roger & Ebert & Bay Area Sports Blog as we collect some thoughts from Tuesday’s Game 3.

• There’s such a dramatic difference between “3-1 in the third period, clearly Detroit is going to take both at home and this series is going to seven games” vs. “Sharks storm back, tie the game, win in OT and now are one away from a sweep.” We’ll take the latter.
• Somebody put Bumblebee from Transformers in charge of the music at Joe Louis Arena: Every song was hit-me-over-the-skull obvious. So obvious that we started writing them down, and that’s when you know IT’S ON. Autobots, roll out: Rufus sang “Tell me something good” during the review of a Detroit goal in the first. 4 Non Blondes asked “What’s goin’ on?” after the goal was overturned. Trooper with “Raise a little Hell” during a fight. Pink Floyd with “Another brick in the wall” after a Howard save in the third. We didn’t catch the song that came after the Sharks’ OT winner. Maybe a little Eminem “8 Mile”? “Sometimes I just feel like, quittin’ I still might.” Bumblebee says ouch.

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The octopus-shark incident from last night’s Game 2 between Detroit and San Jose, where a fan threw a leopard shark on the ice with an octopus inside it, just keeps getting better. In a poorly masked interview with KGO, the thrower explained how he got the shark into the arena, and how he got it over the glass onto the ice. That led to some classic exchanges like this one:

KGO: I mean, nobody smelled it? It had to smell.

Thrower: It was pretty fresh. It was not … sure, it smelled fishy but it was … only the freshest shark for this occasion.

Next we expect an interview with the shark itself. Masked, of course. And fresh.